Help! Do I say Yes or No?
Unintentionally, I had fallen into a rut. I was saying no to a lot things in my life. But I didn't fully realize that myself.
But sometimes an "aha" moment suddenly knocks on your door.
For me, that moment was of a spicy time in my life that led to growth and deepening. Apparently I needed to wake up in a hard way.
In any case: among other things, it noticed that I started to say yes more often.
Books have been written about this, a lot. About saying "yes".
Personally I discovered this by living, And I discovered that saying yes also has a downside.
Because what if you always say yes, but others often say no to you?
Your 'yes' does not seem to come back in your system. You see it disappear in the system of the other and soon you think: "What about me?"
What is interesting to know: much more has been written about "learn to say no."
But I believe we can all feel in our body what a frequent 'no' does to us.
For example: Say no, out loud, for a couple of minutes, over and over again, "no, no, no, no."
What happens when you get passed the relieve? Where do you feel that in your body?
And now often say "yes" in succession. What do you feel in your body now?
Whatever you feel: Yes & No are connected. And in this connection lies the key.
The first movement in a no is in saying yes. Saying no, that's very healthy. However, it is effective to say no with a connection to yes.
"I don't want to do this now, I'm too busy"
But for example;
"Do you want me to do this when I have time or is there someone else who can help you?"
Why is the latter example more effective?
It holds the intention to stay connected with each other.
The I has turned to a you and me.
"My feeling is important, Your feeling is important. Together we are important ".
A blind 'yes' to everything is not longer connected. A blind 'no' neither.
A "Yes I do" is embracing 'life'. As long as it is adjusted to an appropriate yes for the moment, for yourself, for others.