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Chili tips and cold showers; learn to observe your story

11 February 2020
Written by

Deva Vasuda

Feelings are reactions to our thoughts. I give you exercises that help you deal with feelings more observantly. It starts with looking at emotions and always with practicing in a small way.

The tip of the iceberg

Someone once described anger as the tip of the iceberg that protrudes above the water surface. It is most clearly seen. But it's never the whole story.

During a set-up or individual coaching you are the observer of that entire story. The iceberg is becoming more visible in its entirety.

Sometimes there is talk of phased or full anger coming out. But as it turns out, we will never have to fully dive into it.

And especially when an experience that comes to the surface feels traumatic, it is the nice thing that you don't have to relive it completely. Very deep confrontation is not necessary during systemic work. A reflection of, for example, deep anger, the iceberg that is submerged in water and can be felt, can therefore be sufficient to find simple, soft healing.

We do pay attention to it, because ignoring or keeping silent can sometimes be deadly. "When we remain silent, everything is over" does not always apply. This is a deadly sting that can continue to work for generations or systems. During systemic work we do not hold on to anything but we also try to avoid anything. We explore what is hidden.

To let you make contact with your iceberg in your own familiar habitat, I have written some exercises for you. A simple way to familiarize yourself on a neutral territory.

Tips for a reflective  way to deal with anger or other emotions:

The chili meditation

If there is too much, Chile is just too spicy, but not harmful and therefore a good metaphor. Observe your thoughts after putting a drop of tabasco in your mouth;

Cold shower method

Kou tightens your entire body when it unexpectedly rinses over you. Stand directly under a cold shower and observe your thoughts in those first moments and when you get used to it or when the shower becomes warm again.

Horn exercise

Stand still with your car when the traffic light is green until the car honks behind you. Notice how your mind / body resists. Do this several times and witness the tension. Observe the desire to avoid the inevitable.

Practice in a small way

Feelings are reactions to our thoughts. These exercises help you deal with feelings more observantly. It starts with looking at emotions, but always with practicing in a small way.

I wish you transparent reflection, I wish you to contact your iceberg without melting and without drowning.

Light & a laugh,

Deva


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