Love sometimes feels like sanding, emotions sometimes lead a life of their own. In this blog, you can read how systemic work can give direction. A woman sought help and learned to get in touch with her feelings.
She experienced emotions very intensely. That is also how she fared in love. Her own thoughts and feelings led a life of her own, away from reality, away from deeper love.
Together we looked at this. A system of old, non-helping thoughts often led to automatic, non-helping behavior.
As soon as love truely arrived, she walked away. Together we learned to observe her thoughts, to understand the system. As if we were looking at it from a distance.
Slowly she learned to brace herself in the storm. We practiced, as it were, to see it as a signal when the sky was getting clouded. She learned to notice when the emotions became stronger. She learned how best to find a hiding place. Where she could hide from rains of tears. Where she could retreat to storms of thoughts and look at it. She learned to recognize them without ending up in a whirlwind.
After much practice, she paid less attention to the cause of the emotions and the content of thoughts. She often was able to notice now that a storm was coming. If so, she looked at herself. She was increasingly able to stay in touch with what she felt without losing herself in the content.
Sometimes that scoured. But suddenly she was able to say that love has to scour now and then. Because that is precisely where there is room for growth. Her lower abdomen allready knew that, but her head didn't always want it.
Her lower abdomen helped her seek help. Although she had poor contact with it, she had responded to it in the storms and sought help.
After a few sessions, she sighed: "I may not be there yet, but I am closer than yesterday." And with that sigh, she really accepted it and let in the love for herself a little. With hope for love in relation to others.