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Tips for dealing with changes

3 June 2019
Written by

Deva Vasuda

Dealing with changes can be tough. Tips for you on this matter in this blog!

Dealing with changes

People are creatures of habit. When we are used to something for a longer period of time, we would like to keep it that way.

Yet it is part of life. Changes. But even when you opt for change, for example by doing a family constellation in a group or with individual guidance, it can be quite difficult.

In this blog I will be happy to explain how you can better accept changes and how to deal with them.

An example; you would like to work on your convulsive way of dealing with criticism. You know that you are quick to defend yourself when you get criticism. You may even be confronted with people saying that you are the one who always criticizes. You know from both that you are bothered by it. You would like to change this.

Sometimes things that bring us more disadvantages than benefits can still be very difficult to change. Because knowing where you stand feels like a very pleasant comfort zone. Even if it hurts too.

But sometimes the anticipation of such a change is more negative than the change itself.

An example: You are in the aforementioned critical spiral with someone with whom you have a bond. Changing your behavior does not guarantee that you can stay in touch. It is unknown territory for you. You are afraid of losing someone with whom you still have that connection. For fear of change, you may think that you may never get a bond with someone again.

How do you deal with this now?

Realize that change has a function. Write down why you want to change this pattern. What caused it to arise? This helps you understand why you have landed in the situation.

Give yourself time. Getting used to something new takes time that you can allow yourself. All beginnings are difficult.

Do you know these feelings when you change?

denial: not wanting anything to change;
resistance: resistance by your inner being against change;
discovering: getting more attention for the positive aspects of the situation;
commitment: allowing change in your life.

These stages can last shorter or longer and are very common. Be kind to yourself, be aware of your needs and reverse your thinking patterns!

Turning around: write down now what is best that can happen to you when you change and how you can grow as a person.
Perhaps the loss of someone gives room for new contacts. Or maybe someone moves with you because you learn to adopt a different attitude.
Believe in your own resilience. In addition, nothing remains the same. Negative situations, frightening effects of your choices, change in behavior, it will eventually lead to improvement and growth.

Is the above tips not help you enough or do you need a personal conversation? This is possible! If you send me a message via the contact form on the website, I will send a response within 24 hours and you can have an intake interview within 14 days.

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